Fantical Lunacy
by Xelan
Summary: Sequel to Delusions of Granger. Takes place where Delusions left off. Ron has his sights set on Luna and Neville will have to intervene. Mild to moderate Ron Bashing ahead. Inspired by the wonderful folks at Seel'vor's Fanfiction group. H/Hr and LL/NL


Fanatical Lunacy –Not a Lunatic (the sequel to Delusions of Granger)  
by Xelan (devote Harmonian)

A/N: I find myself liking Ron Weasley less and less as time goes by. I cannot  
recall who it was but another fanfic author commented that he/she wished Jo had  
killed off Ron. I find myself slowly warming to that idea, but that's just my  
opinion.

Takes place in a fictional 7th year with DH never taking place. Non-canon  
compliant. Mild to moderate Ron bashing ahead. NL/LL ahead. This will not make a  
lot of sense unless you read Delusions of Granger  
(http:/ www. fanfiction. net/u/37493/)  
I generally dislike the last two books as well as parts of OoTP and I refuse to  
acknowledge the existence of The Epilogue.

Dislaimer: I own nothing. All recognizable characters are owned by their  
respective owners.

Stunned silence filled the Great Hall. Disbelief could be seen on several faces.  
Even Ronald Bilius Weasley COULDN'T be so thick as to drag another unwilling  
woman into his fanatical lunacy – could he?  
Ron marched a couple of steps to the left to once again take his place at the  
center of the great hall, pulling a glowering Luna Lovegood behind him.

This time, he knew better, he didn't willingly let go of LUNA'S hand, but with  
one powerful tug, Luna managed to send him ass over tit onto the cold stone  
floor. "You shouldn't meddle in the affairs of Lovegoods, Ronald, for you are  
dimwitted and Neville is standing right behind you." To emphasize her point,  
Neville cleared his throat noisily.

"Ahem! Is there a particular reason you're bothering Luna, Ron?"  
With a patronizing smile, far brighter than was wise, Ron scanned the room.  
Despite Neville acquiring some backbone and a fair bit of muscle in fifth year,  
Ron still didn't take Neville seriously. To him, Neville would always be the  
round-faced, pudgy klutz from first year. To his peril, ignoring Neville  
completely, Ron began to address the entire school.

"Right, you lot. I know you've heard rumors that Loony and I… huh?" and that was  
as far as he got as Neville had rather forcefully gotten Ron's attention by  
knocking on the back his head as if it were a door made of wood - a rather apt  
comparison.

"Neville! What IS your problem, mate? Can't you see I'm trying to announce  
Loony's and my engagement?"

At that, Neville cocked an eyebrow. He leaned a bit to the side to make eye  
contact with the youngest Lovegood and just as soon as she shook her head in the  
negative, his course was set.

"Just wanted to make sure I was doing this for the right reasons and besides  
it's cowardly when their back is turned."

Ron just stood there looking confused and somewhat annoyed. On the one hand,  
Neville had ruined his opening monologue of why Luna was madly in love with him,  
but on the other hand, with this last minute substitution, he really hadn't had  
time to make u…I mean THINK of all the reasons they were destined to be  
together. With Hermione, it had taken nearly the entire year, but since Luna was  
so incredibly mental, she'd probably believe whatever cockabull reasons he came  
up with.

*WHAM* *CRUNCH*

Ron flew backwards just after he felt a sharp pain on his face. His nose erupted  
in pain and he could already feel the blood streaming out of his nose. He landed  
with a vibrant *bam* on one of the long tables. Strangely, the table had been  
cleared earlier, but right before he landed, a tureen of gravy appeared close to  
where his head would impact. The earlier *bam* was followed by a *splat* and  
Ron's robes where drenched with gravy. No one batted an eye over the gravy;  
after all, he often appeared covered in gravy after meals. Worst table manner in  
the history of Hogwarts, just barely beating out Forsythe the Flatulent, the  
previous record holder who had held the title for the past 72 years.

Neville made a mental note to drop by the kitchens later and thank the house  
elves. They didn't forget the gravy.

"Awww… bloody HELL!" Ron cried. "Whaddya do that for?" He whimpered as he  
clutched at his painfully, shattered nose.

Ignoring Ron as if he was insignificant, and in this case he basically was,  
Neville stepped up to Luna and took her hands gently into his own. "Are you all  
right? He didn't hurt you did he?

"No, Neville. He didn't hurt me, but I believe he may have upset the nargles."  
"My, that is serious. As the foremost expert in nargle behavior, what should we  
do to calm them?"

"I think a kiss and a question should suffice. The order doesn't really matter."

"And what question, pray tell, would that be Miss Lovegood?'  
"Why, Mr. Longbottom, the only question a young lady wishes to hear from a young  
man she has been seriously dating for nearly a year and a half." She fluttered  
her eyes.

Neville's smile was huge and Ron just kept turning his head back and forth  
trying to keep up with the conversation. His neck hurt… as well as his bum, from  
where it impacted the hard table; his lower back, where someone's book satchel  
was wedged; his shoulders, where something that felt like a wand was poking him;  
his face and in particular his nose, and he blamed Neville's fist for that. This  
had to have been the most painful and embarrassing thing that had happened to  
him in at least the last week.

Neville, as if only he and Luna were present, got down on one knee, took a deep  
breath and spoke from the heart. "Miss Luna Selene Lovegood, will you do me the  
honor becoming Mrs. Neville Longbottom?"  
Startled gasps could be heard around the room and it was almost as if they  
triggered Ron's reaction. His eyes became huge, his face turned a brilliant  
shade of red and later on, several people could swear that they had literally  
seen steam coming out of the youngest male Weasley's ears without the aid of  
Pepper-up potion.

"Now wait just a bloody minute, Longbottom! I was just about to announce Luna's  
and my engagement. What are you, some kind of lunatic? You can't ask my fiancée  
to marry you!" Both Luna and Neville finally noticed Ron and turned to glare at  
him.

Ron gulped as Luna began to make her way towards him.

Luna had a slight frown on her face as she used her wand to conjure a rolled up  
newspaper. *WHACK* "Bad ginger. Bad ginger. No supper for you tonight, and no  
eating the gravy from your robes this time. If you do, I'll know and I'll make  
what Hermione did to Marietta look like tame in comparison." *WHACK*

At that, she banished the newspaper and made her way back to Neville. She smiled  
coyly and said, "Why Neville, I thought you'd never ask. Of course I'll marry  
you."

At `of course' Neville had already started leaning in to kiss her, but Luna beat  
him to it. She captured him in a deep kiss and literally swept him off his feet.

After Luna released him, with a sappy grin on his face, Neville joked, "I love a  
woman that knows what she wants and isn't afraid to take."

With a satisfied smile, Luna said softly, "As long as that woman is always me, I  
don't think we'll have a problem." Neville nodded vigorously. "Good, now let's  
go celebrate. It took so long to get to the kiss part that I don't think the  
nargles are placated yet. You may need to try several more times before they  
settle down." She began to lead him away from the Great Hall.

Neville couldn't be more pleased. "Gladly," he said as they passed through the  
archway. Before they were out of sight, they stopped and Neville called back  
into the room. "Ron! I'm not a lunatic, but I am in love." The newly engaged  
couple continued on their way.

Ron gave a sigh and looked around the room once more.


End file.
